Ingredients

1 – 1 ½ cup quinoa

2 large bunches of kale

½ of an onion, finely chopped

¾ of a red bell pepper, finely chopped

2-4 garlic cloves, chopped

4-6 TBL olive oil

Kalamata and/or Spanish Olives

Red wine or apple cider vinegar

Himalayan pink salt

Fresh ground pepper

Sriracha sauce

*Optional: Add chopped grilled chicken

**Also optional: Add feta cheese for light topping

Directions

Follow directions on label for cooking quinoa. Set aside. Chop your kale, then sauté (here’s my favorite way – kale recipe) Set aside. Then, sauté chopped onion, red bell pepper and olives. Combine everything in a large bowl. Add salt & pepper to taste, plus sriracha hot sauce. Enjoy!

Daydree is a Reiki Master/Teacher who lives and works in Los Angeles. She is a registered member of International Association of Reiki Professionals (IARP). For more info or to make an appt, click here- MyOshun.com

As I mentioned in an earlier blog, you don’t have to be religious to meditate. Conversely, you can be religious and meditate. Meditation is not about religion, it’s simply a way of giving your mind a much needed mental health break, and it allows an opening to become even more creative in your life. Most grown adults have enough going on between, family, work and relationships that they could use one of these breaks regularly.

There are many different ways to meditate. Here are just a few tips on how to give yourself a mental health break:

Sitting Meditation

1.     Quiet – Find a quiet spot or one with serene sounds, ie: ocean waves, birds chirping, etc.

2.     Posture – Sitting upright with soles of the feet together or feet straight out in front of you, or both feet on the ground, place your arms in a comfortable position (recommended position is to place your palms upward, relaxed on your knees or place one open palm on top of the other open palm on your lap.

3.     Relax – Take a SLOW, DEEP inhale and exhale. Continue with these breaths. With each breath, allow your body to heavily sink into the chair you’re sitting in more and more deeply. This feeling should be reminiscent of the heaviness one feels as you sink into a deep slumber…but keep your eyes open! This “heaviness” is only in your collective body, not your eyelids! The aim is that your body feels very relaxed, as if the stresses of your life are dropping off of you.

4.     Inward – With each releasing breath, and eyes lowered, your focus is turned inward, meaning you are not thinking about anything outside of yourself. As a matter of fact, you are not thinking at all.

5.     No Thought – You DO nothing… you ALLOW. Here are a few ways to practice the ‘no thought’ principle of meditation: focus your gaze on a small candle in front of you, or visualize a calming scene like an empty beach or any relaxing outdoor images like flowers, for example (nature is usually a good template). The least amount of items in your relaxing scene, the better because that will start you thinking again. My favorite option is visualizing light. You can visualize a white light that expands and contracts with each breath you take, growing bigger as you move through the meditation. This way there is no thinking, you are merely focused on the light within and the breath. You can also get creative and visualize colored light if you have a certain area of your life that you want to draw attention to or improve. Remember meditation is not only for releasing stress, but it’s for purging the soul so inspired new ideas can come through you. Here’s a color chart with their corresponding meanings in case you want to center on a particular aspect of your life: COLOR WHEEL

*Note – Some individuals that have been practicing meditation for some time DO close their eyes while meditating, but don’t actually fall asleep. However for beginners, keeping eyes completely closed often makes them fall asleep. This is why if you’ve never meditated before, I recommend lowering the eyes or focusing on candle light while in the seated position.

Walking Meditation

If you live in a scenic neighborhood, near a beach for example, this is a great option for meditation while getting exercise. While walking at a comfortable pace, take a deep slow breath. You may find that 3 walking steps are the time it takes for 1 inhale or exhale. Whatever the amount, you’ll create your own rhythm which will assist in your meditation. Do your best to only focus on what you’re doing, especially if there are passers-by. Keep your eyes lowered to the ground in front of you as you’re walking. Then, continue to points #4 and #5 above.

Meditation helps us to hit our recharge button so that our tank is full, oil is changed and we’re WINNING in the flow of life.

Daydree is a Reiki Master/Teacher who lives and works in Los Angeles. She is a registered member of International Association of Reiki Professionals (IARP).  For more info or to make an appt, click here- MyOshun.com

Try this yummy breakfast this weekend!

Ingredients (serves 1 – 2)

2-4 small red skin potatoes chopped

¼ cup chopped onion

1 cup fresh spinach

¼ cup tomatoes chopped

2 TBL sun dried tomatoes

2 eggs

parmesan or feta cheese for garnish

oil for frying

paprika

dried basil

salt to taste

Recipe

Parboil chopped potatoes. Pat dry thoroughly. In cast iron pan, add oil, potatoes, onions and salt to taste. Build your flavors with paprika, dried basil and/or your favorite seasonings. In separate large sauté pan, sauté chopped spinach. Push to one side of the pan, use another side of the pan to heat your tomatoes, and use another side of pan to warm up your sun dried tomatoes, allowing natural oils to release from the sun dried tomatoes (you’ll drizzle that oil on the top of your dish at the end). At the same time, when potatoes are almost done, poach your egg(s).

Place potatoes on plate first. Top with spinach and tomatoes, then your egg. Garnish with sun dried tomatoes and cheese of your choice. Enjoy this yummy breakfast!

It’s been a challenging time. For about the last, oh, almost 4 years. From the morning (all day) sickness of pregnancy #1, all the way through the arrival of baby #2, and the major juggling that happens daily while raising two little ones. Parenting is a tough job. The hours are long, and there aren’t any vacation days. There very often isn’t any recognition for a job well done. Nobody calls you into their office to give you props for your kid sleeping well, eating vegetables or saying please and thank you. And you will never, ever get a raise.

So challenging is nothing new at this point. But the last 6 weeks or so have added a new wrinkle. Our daughter started preschool. Ah, preschool! That blissful time when I would relax and take walks with the baby and generally ‘catch up’ on being me and having a life. That time I would have to give the house a good clean. That time I would have to track down long lost (ie: since before I had kids) friends and go have a coffee and a proper chat.

Not so much. First of all there is the transition. That’s the part where you join your child at school until she gets comfortable there and you can leave. This involves a lot of reading on a chair in a corner and trying to ignore your child in order to encourage her to go and play with the other kids and bond with the teachers.And in the middle of our daughter’s transition she got sick with a really nasty virus that lasted a few weeks. So she started strong and then took two steps back and the end result is that we are still in this preschool limbo over a month later. So I sit on my chair and wait. I wait for glorious ‘free’ time (whatever that means with an 8 month old at home) and for a more pristine and organized state of my closets. Meanwhile my husband is now sick and my baby has a stuffy nose that won’t seem to resolve itself. We are apparently in some round robin of sickness. Not a sporting “each team will play every other team” round robin, but a round robin involving snot and bad attitudes. 3 year olds are not good patients. I pray fervently that I will be spared the sickness myself.

But, I digress. The point is that things are a challenge, and I would be lying if I said that many days my favorite time isn’t after the kids are asleep and my husband and I get to sit and flip through the channels and have a vaguely adult conversation. This is not to say that raising kids isn’t rewarding. It is. It’s just really, really hard. But I know that so many others have more to complain about. Heck, I have running water and plenty to eat. That’s a major luxury in many places. But we’re also struggling. I admit it. We admit it.

So my husband comes home a week or so ago, a random weekday, and proceeds to tell me a couple pieces of wonderful news. Really good stuff! But he delivered this news with such a heavy voice. That was when it hit me. He and I were so busy simply surviving that we couldn’t see that many times we were actually thriving. He had good news! He was thriving at work. And truth be told, there was a lot of thriving going on at home. Besides the preschool challenges, our baby sleeps through the night (victory!) and our daughter is generally just a joy to be around. And the list goes on. So here’s to thriving! Here is to victories and bits of stellar news in the midst of long days and tantrums and spit up. Here is to remembering that pretty soon everybody will be asleep and we can have a glass of wine and toast to our surviving and THRIVING.

I hope I can remember writing this the next time my son’s poop mysteriously escapes out the side of his diaper and I hear a splat on my shoe. How does that happen? Seriously! Sometimes physics just isn’t on my side I suppose. Or maybe gravity is my foe? Or maybe I just need new slippers.

Amy Honey, Head Contributing Writer – M.O.M.

One of the other hats I wear besides the mom hat is that of a health and weight loss coach.  This work came from years in the fitness industry.  I love this work.  I get to help people live healthier, more energetic lives.  I get to help them feel and look better.  It’s an amazing experience when people let me in to their lives and habits and trust me to help them make a change.

I had a revelation the other day while doing this work.  I was coaching a client who told me that she had skipped breakfast (big no-no!).  When I asked her why she said that she had simply forgotten.  Of course this is something we can all understand.  Life has a way of getting so busy that it’s easy to forget the basics.  Then it hit me.  Not a single one of us, when charged with caring for a child, would EVER forget breakfast.  It just wouldn’t happen.

Which brings up the question, why are we often better parents to children in our lives than to ourselves?  Aren’t we just as important?  (Hint: yes!) And even if you hesitated on that last question, think of it this way, you’ll be a much better parent (aunt, uncle, grandparent, etc.) if you are well cared for yourself.  Our kids need us at our best!

I gave my client a homework assignment.  I told her to find a photo of herself as a young child and if possible to find a photo with her mother in it too.  I asked her to place that photo in a special, new place where she would really notice it every day.  The idea was to have her connect to the child in herself that needs and deserves good parenting and also to honor the parenting that her mother had done all those years ago.

This isn’t easy, I know.  I’m far from perfect myself.  I don’t ever skip breakfast or skimp on vegetables (would you go all day without offering your child something green?). However, I’ll go days without making time to play and be creative, getting so consumed with chores and other things that could wait if only I was parenting myself better.  I will put myself to bed too late even though I know I’m exhausted.  I will neglect spending time with friends (grown up ‘play dates’ right?) even though I know that community is a necessity and a joy.

So let’s be better parents.  Let’s do it because we are important ourselves, and because our kids need us to be the best versions of ourselves.  Let’s do it because our kids will learn by watching us.  Let’s do it because the world needs more healthy, happy, playful, rested adults!

Amy Honey, Head Contributing Writer – M.O.M.

Can you stop? Stop for one moment and give yourself a quick mental health break. Or do you keep your foot on the gas like the famed energizer bunny. I think that’s why that little guy did so well over the years – been around since the late 80’s – because many of us can relate. We just can’t seem to stop for a moment. Do you know that people who meditate have fewer arguments with others, better relationships and healthier lives? You might say, “Let’s think of this practically, I have a full time job, 2 kids, kids responsibilities, my responsibilities – when am I supposed to meditate?” If you have 15 minutes, you can meditate. Meditation is really about giving the brain a rest, so that it can recharge and serve you better. You’ll be a nicer person, you won’t snap over silliness and you might even live a little longer, be happier and healthier.

This is why our brains need a break: For the most part, we are recycling the same thoughts, versions of the same thoughts or addendum to the thoughts we just had. Think about it. Just kidding. When we stop to go into the place of  “no mind” or meditation, we basically are no longer thinking, but rather we’re allowing a safe space for fresh, inspired thoughts to come through us and work for our betterment. It’s like a mental health oil change. Our cars need them to run better and more efficiently. Well, we need them too. You might say, “Oh I don’t need to rest. I’m fine.” But before you convince yourself that you’re right and don’t need to change, consider this… What if meditation actually works? What if what you’ve always done can be improved upon, or what if meditation helps make even one aspect of your life more fulfilling. Would it be worth it then? What if your business, work, finances, or relationships were actually transformed for the better? Dream it up. Now meditate and give yourself a mental health oil change. 15 minutes every day for a week. You don’t have to do it in a classic way, you can merely sit in front of your flowers with your eyes lowered, you can do a walking meditation at the beach, yoga, during Reiki…there are many ways to feel the effects of meditation, if you simply allow it.

And by the way, meditation has nothing to do with religion. So whether you’re religious or not, you can meditate. Meditation really just has to do with allowing the perpetual thoughts, voices or noise of the mind to quiet, so newly inspired and transformational ideas can positively inform your life. Sounds pretty good, huh? Just 15 minutes a day. You can do it. And if you have no idea how to mediate, stay tuned… tips to come!

Remember what they say on the plane, “Put your oxygen mask on first.” Be the best you, you can be and your world will change. Believe it. I’ve seen it happen.

Take care of yourselves and each other…

Daydree is a Reiki Master/Teacher who lives and works in Los Angeles. She is a registered member of International Association of Reiki Professionals (IARP).  For more info or to make an appt, click here- MyOshun.com

When my daughter was very young I got some great insight from a dear friend who already had two kids of her own.  “Every day it’s a different baby.”  This was reassuring.  On tough days I could imagine that the next day would be easier because the baby would be less fussy, or sleep more, or I would have more energy or more insight.  And sure enough every day with a baby IS a little bit different.  They grow, develop and change that fast.  I realized that the best thing to do at the end of a tough day was to just let it go since the next day would be different anyway.

Fast forward a couple of years and unfortunately my dear friend now lives far away and I don’t get as much of her good advice.  Also my baby girl has turned into an almost 3 year old and I think the situation is better described as, “Every 5 to 10 minutes it’s a different kid.”   One minute she tells me “You’re the best mommy in the whole wide world.”  Ten minutes later we are having a battle of wills over the fact that she doesn’t want to go pee-pee before we leave for Trader Joe’s.  One moment she is quietly sitting on the couch with her books and 5 minutes later when I come over to brush her hair she is pushing my hand away like I’m holding a live snake.  The intensity of these types of moments is directly proportional of course to how tired she is.  The pee-pee battle can turn into a full-fledged tantrum if it’s too close to bedtime.

So I should just let it go, right?  I should remember that in another 5 minutes she will be a different kid again, the one who thinks I’m the greatest thing since peanut butter.  Well, it’s gotten harder to let it go.  Now that she talks and seems to possess a certain amount of reasoning and logic I find that I’ve started to hold a grudge.  Once we’ve peed and we’re in the car to the store I’m still fuming over the earlier incident.  Meanwhile my daughter will be in the back seat humming along and commenting cheerfully on the fire engine or the crows that she sees.

Hmmmm.  Holding a grudge against an almost 3 year old.  Probably not the best plan I realize.  And then it hits me like a ton of bricks.  Holding a grudge against anyone isn’t the best plan.  Because who suffers?  I do!  What about that jerk in traffic who just cut me off?  Am I teaching him a lesson by complaining about his behavior to the next person who will listen?  No, I’m just reliving the moment in all its negativity.  What about my insensitive family members who can’t figure out the world doesn’t revolve around them?  Am I improving their behavior by rattling on and on about it to my wonderful husband?  No, now I’m just stewing in their toxic juice and spreading it to him too.  Yuck.

So I’m working on it.  With my daughter I try to remember that of course she’s not doing it on purpose.  She’s doing her best as a boundary testing, independence gathering, learning and experimenting little human being.  It’s my job as a parent to rise above her moods and be the anchor for this little family boat.  Let It Go.

And in situations involving grown-ups who may be doing some of this stuff on purpose, that’s still pretty good advice.  Let It Go.  I can’t control what other people are going to do. And odds are good I can’t change their behavior either.

So the next time my darling angel flings herself on the floor screaming because I suggest that she’s had enough time playing with my phone, I’m going to try and remember that in 10 minutes everything will look very different.  I may still sit down and put my head in my hands.  I may still have to fight tears of frustration because I haven’t slept through the night in 6 months and I’m just so profoundly worn out I can hardly make it to the end of the day.  But hopefully I can just keep practicing to Let It Go.  And someday practice will make perfect.

Amy Honey, Head Contributing Writer – M.O.M.

I bought a bag. A very nice bag. It’s not the most expensive bag with all the bells and whistles, but it’s a good quality bag that looks great and fits my needs. Most importantly, when I wear it I feel like I’m putting my best foot forward. Do you own something like that? It could be a favorite lipstick, jacket, pair of shoes… whatever. It doesn’t have to be lavish but when you wear it, you feel a certain way. You know what I mean? Unstoppable. Capable. Beautiful… fill in the blank. Now, obviously, we should all feel unstoppable, capable and beautiful at every moment every day, but that doesn’t happen because we’re human. So those days when you’re not feeling at 100% there’s nothing wrong with getting a little help from your favorite pair of shoes in the closet. What I’m posing is not that the bag or pair of shoes makes you fabulous, but instead they merely act as triggers that allow us to step into who we really are – to transport us to our sweet spot of feeling playful or powerful or whatever we’re wanting to embody that day… It’s like working from the outside – in.

An extreme example of this in acting is called a picture exercise. You’d take a picture from a magazine for example, and copy the outfit, hair, everything…all the way down to the nails and positioning of the person in the picture. Then the actor would allow their imagination to help them embody what the personality might be like, the movements, manner of speech, gait, everything – and make that person in the picture come to life! That is an acting class. But in life, we can also work from the outside – in to reignite that flame that has gone dull in us or to simply remind the flame that it was never really out. Our REAL power and beauty is from the inside, but sometimes we just need a little something to pull the trigger and get it started.

Take care of yourselves and each other…

Daydree is a Reiki Master/Teacher who lives and works in Los Angeles. She is a registered member of International Association of Reiki Professionals (IARP).  For more appts and info, click here- MyOshun.com

Love is communication – this is becoming clearer and clearer to me the more people I speak to and the more talk I hear of relationships with friends and colleagues. What seems to break down relationships most is lack of communication or “bad” communication. This really comes down to the first communication – and that is with us. Are you honest with yourself about your weaknesses when expressing to others? Do you hide when you need to discuss a big issue with a friend? Never admit that you’re wrong? Can’t ever seem to apologize? Or shut down when emotions get too hot? Be open to working on your stuff! We’re in this together. We all have egos that get in the way of us communicating at our best – and therefore, loving at our best. When our relationships are better, we’re better because they’re our own reflection.

Actually, it seems as though we communicate more immediately, frankly and openly to the world on Facebook, than we do in our own personal relationships with our friends and lovers. Can we transfer some of that open-ended care and honesty to our more intimate relationships? I understand that sometimes this can be more challenging, but certainly it is more rewarding. Thankfully, I attended a high school in Brooklyn which offered an interpersonal skills class that was wonderful. I realize this is not a norm, but I think if we taught more communication skills courses in high school in addition to the core subjects like math and science, our youth might have a better chance at communicating more constructively and positively than what we’re doing right now.

We’re living in challenging times. Some of us are doing very well, but a great many of us are more stressed because of the lack of jobs, not where we want to be, what have you… When we’re more stressed, our mode of expression can be less “refined”, shall we say. So to that end, let’s work on it. Be patient with yourself and gentle with others. Tap into those basic values that most of us learned as children – use kind words with your friends and partners, give yourself a time out before sharing angry words which you very well may regret, be humble and create a safe space to share your fears, and – this is a big one – be humble enough to admit when you’re wrong by apologizing. Saying, “I’m sorry” is a wonderful acknowledgment that the other person’s feelings matter and that you wish you hadn’t stepped on them. And, if you think you might need a little more assistance, seek help through a friend, Reiki practitioner, counselor, psychologist, etc. Your relationship to yourself and others is worth it.

I remember once when I was very excited about quickly jumping into a relationship, my mom cautioned me… “Love is the easy part – you fall in love with someone, they make you laugh, there’s passion, they’re intelligent, they’re good to you…the hard part is once you’re in the relationship, can you communicate well? Because that’s the key to sustaining the whole thing.”

Take care of yourselves and each other.

Daydree is a Reiki Master/Teacher who lives and works in Los Angeles. She is a registered member of International Association of Reiki Professionals (IARP).  For more appts and info, click here- MyOshun.com

Judging by the covers of People and US magazines lately, it seems like it’s common for women to have children later and later in life… and even well into their 40s. Also judging by my own experience (I had my kids at age 37 and 39), older moms seem like the new norm. The facts support this perception. The average age of first time mothers in this country went from 21.4 in 1970 to 25 years old in 2006 (National Center for Health Statistics, part of the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention). Also during that time the number of women 35 and older having their first child increased by almost 8 times. In 1970 1 out of 100 first children were born to moms 35 and older.  In 2006 that number was about 1 out of 12 (NCHS).

So, moms are getting older. As a percentage of the total today, mothers over 35 are still not the largest group (about 14% in 2008, Pew Research Center), but the trend is definitely towards waiting longer for motherhood. Anderson Cooper’s new daytime show even recently did a segment on getting pregnant in your 40s and beyond. So what is driving this phenomenon? Are there benefits? Are there risks?

Just a generation ago it was simply expected that women (and men) would start families right out of college and even high school. Culturally women were programmed to put motherhood first.  In fact, many women had their kids early and then went back to school and the work force after their children were slightly older. Today it seems that progression has reversed. Women are pursuing their education and career paths first and then deciding to start families.  In fact, mothers today are more educated. The number of mothers with some college education went from 41% in 1990 to 54% in 2006, with mothers over 35 at 71% (Pew Research Center).

Improvements in medical technology are also driving the older moms trend. Better and more accessible fertility treatments play a role. However, not all older moms use medical fertility treatments by any means. A great many get pregnant with no medical help, and some seek alternative or spiritual methods. Super model, Iman (after 2 failed attempts at in vitro fertilization or IVF) decided to try an African tradition of holding another woman’s baby for a day to promote fertility.  She borrowed fellow model Christie Brinkley’s daughter (conceived through IVF) and was pregnant shortly after. However sometimes, heartbreakingly, there is no logic to fertility and it’s clear that science hasn’t explained everything.

What are some potential benefits of waiting to start a family? Parenting takes a huge amount of patience and the ability to ‘take one for the team’ both physically and mentally. From the weight gain of pregnancy to the sleepless nights and the coping with temper tantrums, Moms put their own selves second in the interest of raising their children.  The rewards, of course, make it worthwhile, but it is certainly easier to put your own needs in the back seat at age 35 than 25. Also, there is some research showing that the large release of estrogen that comes with pregnancy helps older moms live longer.

Are there risks associated with waiting for motherhood? Probably the biggest one is that many women might miss their chance. As the body ages it is simply harder to get pregnant. Too often people get a false sense of how easy it can be to get pregnant after 35, 40 and even 45 because of highly publicized celebrity cases that involve many challenging and costly fertility procedures. Also, the risks of miscarriage and certain birth defects, like Down syndrome, increase with the age of the mother (March of Dimes).

Deciding when to start a family is the most personal of choices. A lot of factors are involved, and it’s never an exact science. Personally, I’m glad to be a bit older most of the time, but I also recognize that I was very fortunate to have conceived quickly and given birth to two healthy babies when I was 37 and 39.   Being older gives me more of the mental and emotional resources I need to be a good Mom. There are times however, when I’m lugging groceries and a car seat, and my daughter Nyala wants to play the “jumping game” that all I want to do is SIT DOWN. And I wonder if things would have been easier at 25… I guess I’ll never know. At least I’m pretty sure my kids will help keep me young by running me around until a ripe old age!

Amy Honey, Head Contributing Writer – M.O.M.