As a Reiki practitioner many of the sessions I have with clients include conversations around relationships. One particular topic that comes up with women is the ability to have a strong “no”. No, meaning no. Not, no means maybe tomorrow, or if you push me hard enough or manipulate me enough, I could change my mind. But “no” with a period at the end. It’s okay to say no. This may seem trite to some, but I think many others have had this issue. So many of us are afraid that if we say no to others we’ll cause conflict and they won’t like us anymore, or worse – leave us. It’s okay to not be liked. It’s actually okay to be left and standing alone. It may feel uncomfortable at first, but sometimes standing alone is our strongest stance.

We are not bad or mean if we tell someone “no, I choose not to stand for this any longer” or “no” this relationship is over. We don’t have to go along with something just to keep the peace. I think many of us are guilty of this but don’t know how to get out of this trap. Be true to yourself and what you need in relationship. You will always be the better for it in the end. Know thyself. And if sometimes we lose someone along the way because we’re not acting the way they would like us to, that’s fine. They weren’t on your “success train” anyway.

The challenge for most of us is after we’ve said no, let go and released a friend or situation, we feel empty. How do we handle the emptiness? Fill the void. Not with cookies and cocktails… although that may be a temporary substitute. We fill the void with something healthy, loving and nurturing. This is the part we usually leave out and is vital to healing. If we don’t fill the void, the pain usually lasts longer, can seem insurmountable or worse yet – we can actually go back to the situation or person that hurt us to begin with because we’re so unhappy. So instead of filling that empty space inside ourselves with cookies and cocktails, here are healthy, loving and nurturing options: fill it with another loving relationship, acknowledge and foster the ones you have, have a Reiki session or some other energy work to heal and recalibrate your soul, take yourself on a date into the mountains or to the beach… These are just a few options. Let the healing begin by filling your cup. You’ll be back to your ol’ self in no time.

Filed under: HEALING, INSPIRATION, SPIRITUALITY by myoshun